Day 95 – 96: Abu Dhabi

Like Dubai, but with worse shopping malls

The capital city of the United Arab Emirates has more in similar with Dubai than it has differences.

And so, its a city that I hate as well.

I hate the wide ten-lane roads built for cars.

I hate their excessive use of water to hydrate all those plants in their lush parks and gardens.

I hate the disconnect between the rich, minority Arabs and the poor, majority Indian foreign workers.

I hate the sweltering desert heat and that distinctive, slightly unpleasant smell in the air.

I hate it that they have almost zero public transportation.

I hate their dull fast food and staid, expensive restaurants.

According to CNN, this is the richest city in the world. Abu Dhabi’s oil reserves are estimated to last till way beyond the year 2100. In other words, they can continue building garish glass skyscrapers, ten-lane roads and nonsensical theme parks like “Ferrari World”, fill the desert with hundreds of water-sucking fountains and populate the city with thousands of foreign workers from the Indian subcontinent and the Philippine archipelago. And leave the air-conditioner switched on 24 hours a day. God, I really hate this country.

I think they are acquiring enough bad karma such that when the oil reserves finally run out one day, they will never, ever, ever be rich anymore for the rest of human history.

What are we going to do with so much money?

I mean, there’s only so many ten-lane roads and skyscrapers they can build.

So…

Here comes the prestige projects like yes, Ferrari World. Saadiyat Island, one of their no-one-knows-if-its-natural-or-reclaimed islands in the Arabian Gulf (also known as the Gulf of Oil) is their latest fill-in-the-blanks city.

This time, its Cultural City. I really don’t understand this love of building self-contained but otherwise disconnected and disparate mini-cities. To me, its just poor urban planning. The emirate of Abu Dhabi found that they had too much money from their endless oil reserves, so they decided to invite, wait, I mean, BUY OVER the Louvre and the Guggenheim so they will come build nice museums in the middle of the desert.

The entire project will cost billions and feature beautifully reclaimed waterfronts, more spewing fountains, more parks that look almost tropical-like in their lushness, and everyone’s favourite, more shopping malls. Emirati-style, of course, which means its likely to be populated with luxury brands for the conspicuous consumption of the rich locals, and staffed to the brim with Indian security guards and Filipino store assistants.

Have I already said that I hate this country?

Shit, Dubai is overtaking us

The UAE is really more of a federation than a country. When I was in Abu Dhabi, which owns over 10% of the world’s known oil reserves, I read of foreign workers in another emirate, Sharjah, suffering electricity cuts to their dormitories and flats. Yeah, you heard it right, electricity cuts in a country that has too much oil.

And of course, everyone knows that famous incident when Dubai built the tallest building in the world (along with tons of other tall buildings) and suddenly found themselves in trouble of defaulting on the international market. In steps their rich neighbour Abu Dhabi with a guarantee, and suddenly, the name of the tallest building changes from Burj Dubai to Burj Khalifa. Khalifa, of course, is the name of the current ruler of Abu Dhabi.

Everyone thinks that the capital of the UAE is Dubai, of course. Abu Dhabi sounds more like a backward backwater somewhere in Saudi Arabia than the richest city in the world. So now they want to reassert their wealth and status. CNN has its Middle East headquarters in Abu Dhabi, and they are keen in transforming themselves into a “hub of hubs”. Yeah, they want to be a business hub, financial hub, cultural hub, artistic hub, hub of the Middle East, aviation hub, shipping hub… Oops, that actually sounds a lot like Singapore, yeah? Except that we built this country by hard work, not by the unfair riches of oil.

In response to Dubai’s 7-star Burj Al-Arab hotel, Abu Dhabi built the also 7-star Palace of the Emirates. It was so opulent and lavish that even I felt like I was missing something by being born a regular Singaporean and not a rich-ass guy living in the UAE. In typical expensive hotel fashion, this one has a long driveway, tons of (foreign) staff, exorbitant prices, huge spacious lobbies and where you feel slightly afraid to move around in fear that you are dirtying their polished marble floors. They also have a private beach, numerous swimming pools and a butler for every room. The ultimate winner? A gold bar vending machine in the lobby, where you can feed all your spare thousand-dollar notes into and watch a real gold bar pop out. Perfect souvenior for those poor folks back home.

Good Old Expat Life

Stayed with an expat in Abu Dhabi, Florent from France. He’s a pretty cool guy, and I got to see expat life through his eyes. Abu Dhabi isn’t the most interesting city, but Florent seems to like it a lot. Alright, I’m going to lay off my attacks on the city for a bit. The weather may be sweltering but at least its good enough to go to the beach everyday. It seldom rains, and there are always clear blue skies stretching overhead, a rarity in cloudy Singapore.

Lots of beach activities and desert activities around Abu Dhabi. Florent and his French friends in Abu Dhabi seem to enjoy these a lot on weekends. And on weekdays, they meet each other frequently after work, hanging out in hotel bars (yeah, sadly, the only place you can drink legally in the UAE) or having dinner together.

The best part of the expat lifestyle? He gets an apartment and a car with the job. This apartment is no ordinary flat – its located on the top floor of a 16 storey building, with fine views of the corniche and the sea, has three toilets, a huge living room and plenty of rooms. By the way, Florent is 23 years old, having graduated from university the previous year, and is living alone in Abu Dhabi. If such a young, inexperienced guy already gets these perks, I can’t imagine what life must be like for an expat in his middle ages.

The Final Say

Well, I guess they need to offer people an attractive remuneration package to get them to come to a place as bad as Abu Dhabi.